Blog Post Title Seven
It feels like I wasted four years of my life. I think back on the time I spent doing next to nothing except trying to make someone happy. How futile. What a waste of time. My time. I refuse to let another man- or woman- women can be just as exhausting as men, like fuureall. No one can take away that kind of time from me again. I have dreams and aspirations in life. However, why does it feel like sometimes I am just spinning my wheels. Moving on a treadmill- which isn’t really moving at all. It’s a cyclical, easy path with the least chance of resistance. It’s safe. Holding on to someone you’ve known for years is safe, it’s comfortable. Living in a bubble for so long I don’t even know what putting myself out there looks like- I have an idea- but I have no idea what it feels like. I have this grand idea of what I want the next year of my life to hold, but the fact that I am sitting at home crocheting like you 110 year old great grandmother is… worrisome to say the least. Now granted- I am not working- I feel like I’m barely keeping myself afloat- another reason I am sitting at home… Playing it safe once again because ya girl is BROKE. Not actually, but I ain’t making that coin right now… the budget is TIGHT. However, based on some recently surfaced information… this might blow your mind… are you ready? Exposure doesn’t have to cost anything. Wow. I know right? Mind blowing. I actually think I was meant to be blonde sometimes. So i think my new goal is to not have a routine. Routine implies comfort… and while I don’t think having a routine in certain aspects of life is bad, I do think that it leaves little to no room for anything new to happen or come into your life. As you go through a daily routine you surround yourself (or don’t) with the same kinds of people everyday. If those people aren’t the kind of people you want in your life… you need to change your routine. Yet again, mind blowing. Okay, these revelations are new to me, maybe not to you and if it’s not then all the more power to you. I’m a slow learner and I tend to connect the dots in a different way than most and that’s okay.
So in light of my newfound information here’s my plan.
Cut out men. I don’t need them right now. I can barely handle myself right now.
Do one new thing a week. A new hike, a new group, a new coffee shop, a new… SOMETHING.
DECREASE screen time. I am turning DND on at 7pm. I can’t have a 5 hour screen time average PER DAY. That is insane to me.
Stop relying on my phone camera and start using my digital cam and recorder.
Aspire, record, reflect, repeat.
